Pre-Deployment #2

We never expected to do it a second time, we were told that wouldn't happen. But I have gotten pretty good at knowing one sure thing about the Military- Things change.
The upside is that it is much shorter than the last one, and this is a very humanitarian deployment. Not OEF or OIF.
The downside is that we will break even as far as money goes, he will leave less than a month after returning to support EMV (enhanced Mojave Viper) for 3 months. Also, the communication on this will be a lot less than OEF. I talked to Lovesband almost every Sunday anytime between noon and 3pm EST. There was a time we went 5 weeks with no communication. There will be no Moto-Mail.

This time, I will be at OUR home. I won't be making the mistake of moving "home" for this deployment.
This time, I have a support system (ESSENTIAL).
This time, in a Corps town, I won't feel like a leper.
Something about non-military folk knowing your Hubs is deployed makes them feel all sorry for you. I know they mean well, but it's nice for someone to talk about it with strength behind their eyes, knowing how you feel, and having a smile for you. The look in the eyes of my non-military relations just said "you poor thing".

Plus, last time, I tried so hard to have friends, and nice as I was, as willing as I was to drive all over to anywhere; people either shut me out, blew me off, or wanted me to party.
Photography, and this blog, are all that I had. And for a time, Suzanne.

This time I'll have college. And as any Milspouse can tell you, doing a SINGLE productive thing (accomplishing a shower, loading the dishwasher) can seriously make a day.

Mooove over, buddy.

I've only ever liked one roomie out of the 3 Lovesband and I have experienced for an extended period of time. I hear that women sometimes get catty, and that can cause problems, honestly, BFF was the best roomie ever. EVER. We lived together, and are STILL BMFFF. That should say something. Maybe it's the mindset. Women (esp. married ones) like to keep a decent home. We run it, it is ours. We are used to shit being done the way we do it, help is only okay when it is done the way that we usually have it done, otherwise it's a pain. For example- if all of the things in your kitchen are suddenly in new places, if your cups are put away upright, if things are melted in the dishwasher, if your laundry is in rumpled piles, your fridge is stockpiled with beer, your microwave smells like Taiwainese farts (and so does everything you cook in it), Your furniture is wet and smells of beer (often)... just to name a few. BFF and I didn't/don't always get along, but we love and respect eachother. Something that, at times, has taken some work and pain honing in correctly; so we get over those things, tweet, and make up. The male roomies we have had generally have no respect for anyone what-so-ever. Hell, not even themselves. I'm tired of it. Each day is like putting my head in a blender. I get that men are forgetful, that isn't the problem. "Hey, there were a bunch of cans in the trash, I rinsed them out for recycling" What SHOULD have happened "Oh, sorry! I forgot" (no biggie) What Happened "Why?" "Because we recycle" "Yeah, but you didn't have to dig them out" "Yes, I did. What else was I going to do?" "Leave them there" This happens with EVERYTHING!!!! Seriously, everything. It's a headache. From Motorcycle safety, to beer taste, to facts, EVERYTHING is some kind of debate. The worst part is that we can never just drop it, he has to bug, like it's going to solve something. IT NEVER DOES! Lately, I just ignore him. I don't answer his planted questions. They are ALL planted. "How should I start an essay?" "I usually start with a relevant quote" "Fuck that, I don't want to look shit up, this essay is stupid, why write an essay about why I want to continue my education?" Seriously? YOU ASKED! Now you want to argue? Ugh. So, he's moving back to the barracks. I am hoping it eases the friendship. I do want to remain friends, and have him over often. DH feels bad, and I don't. I feel disrespected, and this is the second place he's been that hasn't worked out for him. Most of all, I am tired of worrying about his irresponsible behavior. Getting trashed by himself on a Monday night, Driving his motorcycle after a few beers (and with little PPE). I worry too much to watch the downward spiral. I'll be glad for the calm. I've come to the conclusion that I don't much like people. Usually they are ignorant, self-centered, malevolent, rude, or all of the above. I'm going to have to be happy as a hermit. I expect decency out of people. That is far too much.

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

It has been some time since I have put a post on here!
Sorry, folks! We've been VERY busy, and recently, the whole house is sick. Even the dog is vomiting all over.
I had the inlaws here for a week,  and it was a BLAST!
Let me explain the Inlaws. Legally, and by blood, they are not related to Lovesband.
They used to be.
His Mother is a whore.
Oh, you probably want better explanation. heh.
She married the father of the gals we now consider his sisters. She was married to them for about 12 years. So, to Lovesband, they are his sisters. We don't speak to his Mother, so they are all he has.
In life, you CAN choose your family. His Mother was so toxic, we had to get her out of our lives. I digress, here are some photos.

This is a beam from the Twin Towers

This is the Beirut Memorial in Jacksonville, NC 

This is actually the 4th of July, what an awesome day to see this!

(We went with Coco on Memorial Day, also)

We went to see the Fireworks on Camp Lejeune! They had The Jane Deer Girls! They opened for the

2mar div band, which was AMAZING!

(Coco witnessed her first Colors)

We went to the Aquarium at Pine Knoll shores on Toothy Tuesday!

We LOVE this Aquarium, and the Inlaws loved it, too!

This was SIL's LEAST favorite exhibit! 

(The snakes) 

Yeah, I had to. 

We're a little blurry, but it's Belle and I!

We went to the park, it was probably 95F with humidity.

Kiddos still had a BLAST!

I tried to keep them well entertained!

They are such great people!

And Belle LOVES her cousins!

But Uncle J SOOO was not getting a kiss.

<3 So sweet!

Keeping them hydrated, of course!

So, after the Inlaws left, we had an inappropriate birthday for Coco <3 

And we made a Facebook and Youtube for our unconventional family- The PeBolBakken's.

Which is a mix of 3 last names. 

There are, in fact, pictures.

All my ducks in a row <3

Kurt has a BEEEG BOOOOSH!

I didn't know Coco was behind me LOL

Ahh, Family Photo out by the "Rape Spot"

Secret Lovers <3

#Heterosexuallifepartners

FRAMILYYY!

To Dispose of the body. I mean...

Yeah. It was an AWESOME week <3

New Bern fun

Sometimes I picture myself with a very different life.
I picture being looked at the way Lovesband looks at me when he gets back from the field, more often than when he gets back from the field.
I picture going on walks like I did with BFF and Buddy. Just enjoying the walk. I'll have to upload photos, we had such a fun time walking around New Bern at night. It's beautiful, so quiet, and the walk, with no destination, no real reason, it was so amazing.
I know Lovesband would have complained the entire time.
Maybe that is what BFF is for. To enjoy things like that with.

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I ate Ice Cream before bed.

BFF is here!!!!! Okay, she's at the beginning of deployment, so she's in a heartwrenching place. It sucks.
I haven't had much time with her in ages.
Deployment is not fair!
I want to treat her like a brand new puppy, I've missed her so!
It's a bittersweet place to be.
Happy to see her, and spend time with her, sad to know exactly how she feels, and loathe that such a feeling exists.
Until you watch someone with 2 seabags, an ILBE pack, and your entire heart walk to a bus/plane/7 ton knowing that it's going to be for so long, in a dangerous place, with limited contact- you don't know how much your heart can ache, how everything feels off, anxiety, panic, depression. Ugh.
I hope she knows how super stoked I am to have her here, and get to spend time with her :D
She's awesomesauce.

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I'm fuming.

Over dishes.
You know what really pisses me off?
I'll tell you.
When the dishes are done wrong. Or when people take my clothes out of the dryer and put them somewhere random in a rumpled pile, or put that pile on top of the dirty clothes hamper.
I don't see where; putting the small spoons with the small spoons, the cookware with the cookware (and so on) is so hard?
Not looking at what comes out of the dishwasher and therefore putting disgusting things where the clean things go- or rather spinning in a circle and tossing them in whatever cupboard or drawer they land in.
How about when you tell people to STOP overloading the dishwasher?
"Nothing in here is really clean, even though it ran"
"That's probably because it was overloaded"
"Ok, I'm going to run it again, and put more stuff in it"
YES, that seems like the right idea!
ACTUAL conversation. I shit you not.
I mean, I have LITERALLY asked you to stop helping altogether.
I'd rather have no help at all, than end up with twice the work, and serious disappointment when I look in the drawer for the flippy-do thing that I use for flipping eggs and pancakes whose name escapes me, and it is STILL caked with Scrapple!
Then, I have to wash it, and my egg ends up overdone. Not that I am seriously particular, but it never hurts to have a good egg day.
Currently I am gulping coffee. I had the luxury of making that myself, sometimes Buddy ends up making it. 4 cups of water+ 4 scoops of grounds= $%(#%@&%^^")@^(%$&(#&%!!!!!!!!!
That is called a K Pot. K is BFF's Husband, and has an affinity for Starbucks coffee made at heart attack strength.
We are on day 2 without a shower, but I am going to shower before Lovesband gets home. I really am.
We have a lot of 'Gone' coming up, so this house needs to get clean so that it can function with 1 person living in a 3 bedroom 2.5 bathroom town home. We're getting there, and we actually (Lovesband and I) work well cleaning together. Buddy and I on the other hand...... It's stabtastic.

But these are some nice pictures from the Air Show at New River! AWESOME time!!!!!

Just a tid-bit of This-N-That.

It seems like my life is always full of some drama. I guess everyones is.
I try not to focus on it, but this is where I dump it. Where I put it all to keep it from destroying my life.
Problem is, I can't always be as honest as I want to be.
Mostly because the truth about the way people feel can be hurtful, and that is not who I want to be.
Some things ARE better left unsaid.
And the way I feel about a situation isn't important if it isn't my situation, and it's the way you WANT to live.
These things, I can tell my husband. He listens, and understands.
Somethings, I don't say to my husband. Like stuff on here. Perhaps I say them in a kinder way. But this place is where my anger, and sadness go.
He is where I place the things I cannot put on here.

Moving on.
Tomorrow is going to be hell. It's 0112.
I have a meeting at 1600 with the command team.
Husband needs the vehicle the first half of the day.
BFF has family coming in.
I have to drop Belle off at BFF's house in Jville.
Plus, it's supposed to rain. So Lovesband riding his bike is going to be a pain.
I might not go. I REALLY want to, but seems like a lot to go through for a meeting.

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