Saturday, October 30, 2010


Apathy. Honestly, I just don't care. I don't see the point. It isn't like I don't care about him, or Belle- I totally do. But everything else? Why? Someone else wants to take care of it. He wants to take care of it. Money, Dog food- things we bicker about, things we have differing opinions on, why sweat it? Seriously? I've spent too much time playing tug-o-war about those things. Fuck it. I'm over holding on to those. I'm over stressing about them. I'm over stressing about a lot of things. Welcome to the 'Over-It' phase. If you hear IDC out of me, it's the truth. Look, Edward Scissorhands is on.
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Monday, October 4, 2010

Expectations- Part Deux

This moment is hard. I assumed things would change. Or, maybe i had dissillusioned ideas of what they had been, and subsequently would continue to be. Maybe it's just today. Either way, I need to vent it out.
Oh, Erin. You're so sweet to not laugh or shake your head about my ideas of reintegration. But, it's hard to make someone understand something they have never experienced. I would have been angry, and said "you don't know US. WE are different". Hm, maybe some other couple, somewhere; not this one. We are the same. This crap is hard. And I don't like the extra opinion about the money. I love him being home, but at times, it feels like he's a wrench in my gears.
First, you're promoted to executive. You have a bumpy go of it at first. Which is to be expected. You get the hang of it, and pretty much have it figured out, and are running things somewhat smoothly, on your terms. Then WHHHHHAAAAAM!! You are CO-executives with that guy from accounting who you SO dig, but he comes in like he's all hot-shit and has 'great ideas to improve on the base you made' and shit.
In many ways he is a great help. In others, I already want to sock him in the jaw.
"I'll take over from here" is sooooo not gonna fly.
If I let it, I'll snap. And end up a hoarder.
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