Saturday, January 29, 2011

Steamclean Your Kids.

Belle is pretty scared of the steam cleaner. It works out pretty well because she usually stands at the other end of the room, staring it down. As if it should just disappear.
This time she wanted to sit in my lap while I steam cleaned the couch.
This got me thinking.
Imagine if our children were like my couch. Deep stains beneath ythe fabric.
Imagine the color of that water!
Gosh, last weeks spaghetti, ground in crayons, all of that soaked up juice! Wiping just wouldn't cover it!
Imagine how much less of a mess it would be!
Okay, so maybe not the kids. But it wouldd be really nice to steam clean the dogs.
Washing dogs is a bigger pain in the ass than detailing The Mothership (2004 Ford Explorer). She has big shiny rims.
Imagine steam cleaning your spouse. YELCH! My Husband is like a muppet! All the crap that would come out of him! Certainly have to vacuume before hand. He'd smell like fermented Salsa Con Queso and Reese's cups.
I love my steam cleaner. It's the greatest thing I own. I'd consider giving up my left fallopian tube before giving up my steam cleaner.
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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Past Does Not Define

When I look into the past, the youngest I can remember being is probably 6 or 7, and the Memory is small. It is a single event.
And the more I think about it, the more I believe that it is the memory that defined the years before I moved out (17).
It is the smaller bedroom in a 2 bedroom trailer. It houses 5 people. The smaller room was for my older sister and I. I don't know where the rest of my family was, I only remember hearing my Mom crying, climbing the side of the red metal bunk-bed to find her bawling on the top bunk.
I'm sure I asked her if she was okay. I'm sure she said yes.
And we both knew she wasn't.
My Father was the cause of this. And until last year (during deployment) it was always that way.
The things I remember most are the painful moments in my life.
I don't have nightmares about them.
I don't dwell on them. But if I try to look back, they are so clear.

As I lay here between a beautiful baby, and a wonderful man, I know that the life we give her will not be like that.
I promised her that if He and I ever got that way, we would leave.
Not so much if he became my Dad, but if we could not get along.
Parents torment their kids so. They think staying together and showing kids how to have an awful relationship is 'what's best'.
I've been waiting for my parents to divorce since I was 11.

Know that your past does not define your future.
Maybe. Maybe it defines mine by motivating me to give my child(ren) the childhood I wanted. One where parents focus on love, not hate.
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

State Of The Union.

I love how heavily a vast amount of this country have judged our President.
I understand that change isn't coming as quickly as we all hoped.
Seriously, I think we can come down from our Starbucks (crack) binge, and stop shaking like a highschooler waiting for the bell to ring.
Honestly, we should all know that these things, with so many opinions, take time.
Pbeople want to argue about what the focus should be. 'Why Focus on DADT when the economy is so bad?'
Because this is America, and happy people spend money. People deserve the right to be who they are, just like any serving heterosexual.
No, it's not going to be easy, they will face troubles like African Americans, and Women. But this is the land of freedom and opportunity for ALL, and we will make it!
I digress.
Our President is working hard to make a government that works for its people. Reforming so average Joe can understand his taxes. So nobody goes without healthcare, even with a pre-existing condition.
Personally, I have to stand by someone who has SO much to accomplish, and is working diligently to complete what is set before him by our expectations.
There is so much to do, and obviously, he will not settle on what some people find to be 'key issues'. Which I believe are only there to divert our attention off of their fears.
A President who is concerned with bettering AMERICA, focusing on a country so in need of work, and willing to work hard for the people. Cutting out earmarks. Pushing for energy independence.
I believe we can come to an agreement that does what America needs, and pleases both sides.
That is what our President wants. It is what America needs.
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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Not Day 3

I don't feel like posting about day 3.
I feel like talking about deployment.
Moving home was my biggest mistake.
I wanted help.
I got 2 kids on top of my 1. 10 and 5 (if you aren't familiar with thee ages, they can both be... Trying..) along with 2 dogs on top of the 2 we have. A Father who ended up leaving only after I called the police.
Other than that, I basically curled up in a ball, and wished I was dead. Depression did not cover it. I try hard not to think of what did not have to be SUCH a difficult time. I brought it upon myself.
Man I need chapstick.
More l8r.
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Friday, January 21, 2011

PSA- Baby Fever.

Dear People under the age of... Oh, we'll say 23 who believe their biological clock is banging away at the inside of their empty uterus,
See, you're young, and maybe married, so you probably want a life.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Belle, but sometimes, I'm about ready to peel my own skin off.
My Husband can play video games. Why? Because it just so happens that I am choice #1. It might be due to having the feed bags, or just that I am the primary care giver. 10minutes into my new, and long awaited (and long whined for) video game, someone wants to eat while simultaniously kicking the Wiimote, and trying to pick off the small (SMALL!) Mole under my chin.
Seriously! When you decide you want to pop out a bundle-o-joy, just make sure you have nothing better to do.
They are great, but they make anything, and everything harder.
Besides, I was 19 and pregnant, almost a qualifier for a TV show!
You're all OMG I want a baby! SO CUUUUTE! OMGZ! Yes, cute.
I love her, I do! But it's hard sometimes, at inconvenient times.
So if you're not knocked up, breathe, take whatever meds you want for the illness you have (lord knows I can't), drink all the caf. You want, and remember when you pooped by yourself and took a long shower, because it was probably today.
I love Belle, and gladly give these things up to breastfeed, and care for her. She's my everything. EVERYTHING! Time, money, energy, EVERYTHING!
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Day 2- 7 Deadly Sins

1) Pride- 7 Great things about yourself.
-1. I'm killer in the sack.
-2. I'm a pretty hot dancer.
-3. I'm decently intellegent.
-4. There's nothing I can't learn.
-5. My boobies are great.
-6. When I get 'all done up', I'm a knock-out.
-7. I'm funny.

2) Envy- 7 Things you lack and covet.
-1. Killer abs.
-2. A decorated house.
-3. Daily showers and out of the house time.
-4. College.
-5. A job.
-6. A kitty.
-7. Clearer skin.
(That List was WAY too easy)

3) Wrath- 7 Things that piss you off.
-1. Crocs on adults (and really, even children. Get some flip-flops)
-2. "Yoga Pants" they're over priced sweat pants.
-3. The Snuggie.
-4. People who wear sweats and scrunchies in public.
-5. My Husband throwing things at me (Chips, baby forks, diapers)
-6. Being Lactose Intolerant.
-7. Homophobia
(The list could be longer)

4) Sloth- 7 Things you neglect to do.
-1. Get up before 10am.
-2. Clean the house daily.
-3. Shower before 4pm.
-4. Take out the meat to thaw on time.
-5. Work out.
-6. Order my kids birth cert.
-7. Save money.

5) Greed- 7 Material desires.
-1. An entertainment center.
-2. A large spinny chair (you'd have to look it up)
-3. Photography lighting.
-4. DSLR
-5. Bedroom set.
-6. Bedroom set for child.
-7. A beach house.

6) Gluttony- 7 Guilty Pleasures (I'm listing food) (because I'm a porker)
-1. BLT
-2. Philly Cheese Steak.
-3. Pizelli from Red Devil in Fenton.
-4. My Peanut noodles.
-5. Swiss Cake Rolls.
-6. Chinese Lo Mein noodles.
-7. Pickles.

7) Lust- 7 Love secrets.
-1. Sex is important.
-2. It makes me hungry.
-3. My husband is GOOD!
-4. Certain Lubricants make it burn.
-5. Ice cubes are awesome.
-6. Everywhere. All the time.
-7. Spankings.
I know, too much.
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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 1

I'm grabbing random challenge ideas from everywhere, let's see how long I can keep this up!
First- 15 facts about yourself, and a photo.

1) The way I do my eyebrows makes them, as far as I am concerned, the prettiest thing about me.
2) I Think the sink disposal is nice, but I never had one, and don't much care for it.
3) I am irrationaly afraid of a zombie apocalypse.
4) I breastfeed my almost 16mo old.
5) I hate when people count in months a child over 12months.
6) We co-sleep.
7) I used to self mutilate.
8) I was once a fairly decent painter.
9) I Love to dance.
10) I haven't been on speaking terms with my MIL in over a year.
11) I am blocking a TON of people on facebook, and they have no clue.
12) Sometimes, when my husband is home, I pretend to be in the bathroom pooping, when really I just need a few quiet minutes.
13) I HATE littering.
14) I honestly want to be a better me for me, not for my husband, or others. Just me.
15) My Daughter is the sugar in my tea, my cool breeze on a hot summer day, and the surprize poop on my shirt!

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Last night on Twitter, a friend mention when her Husband is deploying.
Someone that she knows tried to remind her of OPSEC/PERSEC
Which made me beg the question-
Can you inform someone of possibly 'saying too much' with out sounding like a douche?
@Manykindregards says 'no'
Even if you never said When and Where, a lot can be assumed.
*At That time, YOU will probably be all by yourself.
*Did You list where you're stationed? So they know when, and where from. They can find all units on that station, lets hope nobody knows the exact unit, or exact place, and mentions it online.
Because then, he may never get there.
I didn't know a lot about OPSEC and thought, I didn't say THAT much..
But now that I am SEVERELY stalked by my MIL, as if she were some kind of terrorist, I REALLY watch what I say. Because I'd rather she not know anything about my life.
Unfortunately, people WANT to harm your Husband.
It's YOUR job to be careful what information you are putting out there.
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ode To The Bagel

Oh, Everything bagel!
Your seeds call my name!
Carbs wroked off with Kegal.
Hope a fetus is not to blame.

It's nearly 0130, and here I am eating an everything bagel to wash down the last slice of the pizza Caity handmade.
My tummy is saying 'Gluuuuuurp! Plup! Mur-mur-mur-muRR!'
Last Month, Caity started after me. Now, I have yet to start. She has.
I've tested 2wice so far.
Maybe breastfeeding has thrown me off? Belle was 8mo before I started back up.
It's not that I don't want another.
I do. I just don't know if we are ready NOW.
We'd have to be, I guess.
And Lovesband is terrified. Like it's impending doom.
I have ideas of how I would announce it.
"Yes, Thank you all for logging on to this video tele conference. I'm glad you all (I'm still northern enough to not contract the two) could make it. 2010 was a long and tough year for many of us, and now, with 2011 here, there is promise of new beginnings, new love for some, new babies for others, and a new baby for us, too!"
And the whole scene has Lovesband sheet-white in the background, head hung. The Optimist sitting next to the Pessimist.
What God wants, IS. We only lapsed on rubber control a few times.
So, If it is to be so, it is. If not, I'm calling the appointment number for BC!
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It Smells Like Afghanistan

Husband got his CIF gear together for inspection.
It's been sitting in the garage since he got back from Deployment in October.
I came home from shopping, and I can just tell, his mood is... 'off'.
After 1,000 'What's Wrong?'s and 999 'Nothing's, he said 'I hate the smell of it'
It smells like Afghanistan.
He is distant. Neither mad, nor happy. Distant, and just wanted to run away and go to bed.
In fact, he complained of nausea before laying down.
It's just a him I am not used to. The smell he relates with Afganistan makes him shut-down.
Seriously, I left after recieving at LEAST 30 kisses, and giggles about how short and cute I am, to someone who won't even look at me.
He will not feel better, I am sure, until the gear is back in the garage.
Any thoughts?
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Interestingly enough, things have been pretty quiet around here.
The only drama is that of Friends.
Nothing really nuts is going on.
That's how you know you are 'normal'.
I know, you're thinking 'A lack of drama defines normalcy?'.
No, knowing you are normal comes the moment that things are chill, and you're okay with it.

I mean, my child is sleeping at 2000!!!!
I hope it lasts!
All I need to do now is work on fitness!
And teaching new things to Belle!
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Makeover Plans

There has been a lot going on. I know I have not been very clear.
I really do hate butting into a friends relationship.
Which is what I have been doing.
Ugh, always the but..
There are times when you just cannot watch a friend be degraded in front of you, and others, by her husband.
What would you do?
Anyway, I will be getting FOR REAL internet next week, and my plans are to fix this blog up. Make a button. And start a site where you can buy prints of my photography!
I have a photography website that is grossly neglected, but I have intentions of fixing her up, too!
So, if you are reading this, tell me what you would like to see on here!
I'd love some comments and feedback!
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Sunday, January 16, 2011


Not too long ago, specifically around pre-bootcamp time, I adopted a new way of life. This simple phrase has changed the way I see myself.
People only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.
Mostly for two reasons.
1) If you carry yourself in a manner that commands respect, most people go with that.
2) You'll toss people who don't respect you, and eliminate any disrespect.
Dont't believe that you are not worthy of someones love and respect.
Know that you have to give it in return, but also that you truly are worthy of it.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sometimes, I Think WAY Too Much.

During a recent, and exactly unvalidated, pregnancy scare, Lovesband said this:
"God, then I'll be in the Marine Corps forever"
Obviously, he is not enthused by such a notion.
Me? I am terrified of life outside of The Corps.
I knew my husband WELL before the Corps. Which, I might add, ended up being an "Oh, BTW" sort of choice.
As I knew/know him outside/before The Corps, he's a lazy do-nothing let-everyone-solve-your-issues-for-you kind of fellah.
I don't see where my fear of 'going back' to that is too radical.

I also got to thinking about the life that civi. Life would deny me.
I almost resent Lovesband at times. I understand that he has LOATHED every place the Marine Corps has so graciously shipped him.. Buuut, that ocean, I've never seen the other side of it.
Hell, I've never even been in a room where most of the people spoke a different language than I, not even when I waitressed.
I'd like the opportunity to see the country, if not the world.
And another point I'd like to make-
The Marine Corps was not OUR decision. It was HIS, and I followed.
I feel like I should have a say in reenlistment.
I asked him ALL last year to LAT move, but of course, he won't/Didn't.
Doesn't want to PCS.
Just OUT. To what?!
School? So you can drag me to Virgina Beach for mechanics school?!
I'm REAL thrilled.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dear Friend.

You have done so much for me.
It seems as though you belong here, and not like you are 'living here for free'.
I know, someday soon, you and your Marine (perhaps just you andd POA) will move in to your very own home an hour away.
It will be like losing an arm.
Friend. Best Friend.
We do not always agree, or get along. But neither do The Husband and I.
It is a part of life. And a part that I will gladly weather, so long as it ensures you are always my friend.
I enjoy your company so entirely. Silence while watching Mama Mirabelle, but just knowing I have you around is the most homosexual piece of blog that has ever come out of my fingers.
You just need to understand how very much your friendship means to me.
That, at the bottom of my strange little heart, I fully believe God means for us to be friends. We both took a leap of faith, and here we are.

I know that, someday soon, K. Will deploy.
I know you will want to bear the pain, anger, sadness, and eating, alone.
I know you will want to look like many wives that you see, who seem to have it all together.
I know reaching out will feel like weakness, and failure.
I know that, though I ask, and prod, and poke, and bother, you will not tell me how you hurt inside.
I'm here to tell you- Bottling it up will drive you mad.
Trying to bear those burdens alone will only make you feel more alone.
And the wives who seem so tough at the PX? They cry themselves to sleep many a night, just like the rest of us.
I Love You. I want you to know that I WANT you to call me at 2am because you can't sleep, you're sad, and anxiety is going to eat you alive. I want you to let me share the burden of sadness, pain, and eating, with you. Please.
I know the thought is hard. But if you feel like you can trust me (and you can), know that I am here for you. In weak time, strong times, eating times, and everything inbetween.
You're my Heterosexual Life Partner.
"Lean On me, when you're not strong. I'll be your friend"
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I HATE winter. One reason I enjoy the south so very dearly (Other than cowboys and sweet tea) is that the chance of snow does not extend from September to April. Hell, in NC you can still go swimming in September! My pool passes last until OCTOBER!
Sorry, the SAD gets to me.
I loooove being outdoors! But I loathe being cold. Anything below 70F is cold. Below 60F is glacial.
So one might assume I spend winter indoors. As soon as a warm day hits, I intend to dust the cobwebs off of that stroller! And I may end up living in a beach gazebo. I am 20 min (if I hit every red light in bad traffic) from the Ocean! Atlantic Beach is the most gorgeous thing aside from Belle and Myself that I have ever seen!
Even strolling trough my neighborhood is a GREAT time!
I'm dying to try out the new park by the newer Nugent Cove housing!
Plus, we're supposed to go to MI in July and see Frankenmuth again! Where I will get Erin ( a Christmas decoration from BRONNERS!
Don't know what it is? Look it up :D
Speaking of Holjidays (inside joke), @Mrs_Flyboy (Whos first name escapes me) is having a Valentines day swap over at
Also, this will be our first whole summer together since 2008!
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Mini Rant.

I bought some nice hexagon wall box/shelf things. For decor. Because our house is sans decor. What does my Husband do? Clutter them up with undecorative crap, as if they are storage space. They are not 'storage'.
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Monday, January 10, 2011


If I am pregnant, I'll probably spend a good day crying about it.
Oh, Breastfeeding, you make birth control so difficult.
We've been unsing condoms, and the times we haven't, we've...ya know.. 'pulledout'
Which would mean his pre-sperm spermy are the MARSOC of sperm.
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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Panic Attack.

Sometimes, everything gets the better of me. Today was one of those days. And I just lost it.
I locked myself in a closet, sweating, crying, shaking, and rocking. I was there for maybe an hour, and it took about 2 hours for me to calm down.
Feeling like I am not a person, or an important member of the family, and a huge pile of everything.
And My Loving Husband delt with me. He was calm, and despite the fact that he couldn't really understand what was wrong, he knew he had to try, and he did.
It's awesome, when I really needed him, he was there. Not perfectly, but he was there, with all he had, and all of his love for me, and it was everything I needed. <3
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Am I crying in a Dark Closet at 2 in The Afternoon?

Yes, I am.

More on this later.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Short shit

I think the capability of admitting you're wrong, is a wonderful trait to have. What is so important about being right about everything?
Let me tell you something, acting like a dick when people prove you wrong doesn't do anything for how people see you.
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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Leave 2010 Part 2

There really isn't a whole lot to say about leave at My Mom's house.
It wasn't 100% relaxing, but it felt like REAL Christmas. My Sisters children were close to being beheaded.
But they ARE kids, and were REALLY packed with sugar.
Mostly from syrup, that adorned my Mom's Egg Nog French Toast (YUMMM!)
I got my Wii fit, Kitchen Aid pots/pans, a matching houndstooth hat&scarf, and some other odds and ends I'll probably mention in future blogs.
We did not get to visit my friend Rachel in Cheboygan, and it was pretty heartbreaking for the both of us. I actually cried.
Decidedly, I am going to hoard money until July so I can see her.
We haven't seen eachother in over 6 years.
I have to mail her little girl a box of gifts that I have for her.
Lovesband and I have not had it out since staying with My Mom, we actually accomplished some hanky panky!
One hanky panky in 20 days is a sad score.
On to Yesterday.
We came to visit the SIL and have TURDUCKHEN, which was just odd. I think FIL is the only one who liked it.
And, we ended up with The Horse ( as you can tell)
And we gave it to SIL and family. Which was helpful.
So, that went smoothly.
And Erric and his wife are not speaking to MIL.
Hm, funny, because they were up eachothers asses before.
But if MIL doesn't run your life, you're blacklisted.
As I type this (on my Android Phone, incase you were unawares) I am waiting in The Mothership for Lovesband as he returns the Highchair we borrowed from SIL. Then I think we have to stop by Erric's and pick up some Dr.Suess books.
Then we visit Mike and his wife in Chelsea. They've been dying to see us.
Tomorrow, DMV (Sec.of.State) and from there, NORTH CAROLINA!!!!
I cannot wait to go home, and see Erin, and Caity! I miss my friends like crazy! Not getting to see Rachel has me needing the comfort of close friends.
It's also strange to be out of the Mil Life for almost a month.
You never realize how different it really is until you go back home for a while.
People live their lives very differently.
People have facial hair, and men have nonregulation hair cuts.
Some people choose not to work at all.
Something I love about the Military- People working hard, and earning a dollar! Some people forget what that is like..
Until next time!
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