Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Mixed Emotions.

There is this tightrope we walk. This to-and-fro toss of happiness and resentment. Does everyone feel this way? Or are some couples genuinely happy more than 60% of the time?
There are times I cry myself to sleep, feeling shafted. All of the parental duties dumped on me.
This only truly bothered me when I was sick. I had a sinus infection for 3 weeks. It was un-freaking-real. I actually finished a bottle of Vicks Custom care, which I used to chase my tylenol. So I am sick, and guess what, so is the baby. But "I have to get up early" trumps "Green and yellow gunk is coming out of my nose and throat, and I can't hear a thing".
I cried. At 3am, I cried.
He had napped, too.
I try to read a story with my nieces, and Belle comes into the room, he follows, and leaves her there, to destroy the room while I try to get the girls to sleep. Me & all the girls, when you are perfectly capable of watching Belle through the Grinch stealing Christmas.

Of course, what keeps my spirits afloat is my Mommy :) She got me many thoughtful gifts. It's not so much that, it's that she believes I am easy to shop for. Because she knows me so well, and I know I am as dear to her as she is to me (and as Belle is to me). I never understood how dear I am to my Mommy, until I had Belle.
Yesterday we wrapped gifts together, talked, and laughed. It was good :)
I'm going to end the blog on a happy note. I don't type enough like that.
Merry Christmas <3
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