Tuesday, December 7, 2010

To Whom It May Concern

I want this feeling of perpetual lethargy to go away. I want to feel as if my heart is actually beating, because sometimes, I honestly wonder. Everyone is always tired. Those hours when our schedules cross, it's only dinner. Today, I saw you awake for 3hours total. I am tired of my life feeling like The movie 'Groundhog day'.
Being sick has not helped my morale. I know I can be me, but what do I do with that?
I need more energy. I seriously have to work on that. If anything is going to get done about my life, I'm going to have to do it myself.
And then.
Then we can see what is left when that dust settles.
Because -This- is not working for me.
Decidedly, I need a new mindset.
I have to do it my damn self.
Everything. I refuse to ask for help unless I cannot physically do it myself.
Please sickness, go away. I need to show the world I'm not fucking around anymore.
The world has a name.
And it's middle name is 'Patriarchal'.
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