Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Unforgiven II.

Today is a weak day. Actually, it did not exactly start that way, and it might be more of tomorrow than it was today, so be prepared.
Unusually enough, the one thing that should bother me, does not. I do feel really good about that. It is something I have been working to move past. I just may have.
Most of the reason that 'insult' doesn't bother me is because it is from a mouth that I would expect it to come from.
There are two insults/judgements that I got that came from mouths I did not expect them to.
That is what I get for having Expectations.
There are days, and more than I like, where I look in the mirror and I ask myself 'Who. Who are you? How did you get to be this person?'. I don't have a good answer. And sometimes I don't think that poorly of myself, not in the last 2 years, really.
If we are not what we say and do, what then, are we?
Our thoughts and feelings come out in our words and actions.
They are not always pretty.
Despite that, there is one person who I know loves me just as I am.
Honestly, I don't think I give him enough credit. He would say 'I'm not all that great, I just love you', see, that's it exactly. He just loves me. He loves me with an unconditional love that is rarely seen between a Husband and a Wife. Look back in the blog, we've been through a lot. But, to this day he looks at me with the same sweet, loving eyes he did years ago. The look that says 'I'm still madly head-over-heels for you'.
I am not always the best WEEF, but he'll always say and believe that I am.
Being the best person, and best Wife I can be is driven by his unwavering love.
And lots of sex.
So, I don't care that you judge me, and frown upon words I say, or things I do. Hey, I'm not fucking YOU. So, it's of little consequence.
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