I'm probably going to die. maybe.

So, I've been having a lot of bruising lately. I've decidedly attributed it to being battered by an infant on a daily basis, but the back of my mind worries. They are sometimes pretty ugly bruises, even for being from the pointy little elbow of a baby. In the caverns of my mind I think 'dear God, I have lyphoma or leukemia' and 'what if I'm dying!?'. Until today, I had pretty much let the idea slide (penguin-like ) out of my mind.
I had decided, not to long ago, that eating hurts. I am lactose intolerant, but avoiding dairy products didn't seem to help. And 'activia' wasn't coming through on any promises. I thought 'maybe it's the extreme stress I am under??'. Then I heard about the symptoms that bitch from the view had when she was on survivor. Oh-em-G. Celiac disease! Also known as Gluten intolerance! And if you don't know anything about it, the cure is a gluten-free diet. Well, that's not killing anybody. WRONG! It can make you seriously at risk for lymphoma. Now, I am sure that I am dying. Actually, it does explain my lack of metabolism, serious weight loss, anemia, and potentially my lactose intolerance. Best case scenario- I have stress that is causing serious tummy aches. Worst case- I'M F*UCKING DYING! I'll keep you posted.